Sexual Seduction

I have an obsession with love. I've come to realize this.
Many people would say I'm codependent when I'm involved.
My happiness & well being is dependent on anothers happiness & well being.
Is there really anything wrong with that?
I want my other half.
Someone to wake up to every morning and go to bed with every night.
Someone who understands my facial expressions & cares about what I'm saying because we are united.
It's a partner, a lover, a best friend, a companion, a commitment.
I think that I truely convinced myself within the past six months or so that love is this unreachable nirvana...
perhaps not.
One major problem seems to be that when I'm single I fall "in like" a lot.
I guess that I have that girls next door vibe.
I will enjoy being single for now until I find the one. (which holy hell I still believe he's out there for me)

As I ramble on I suppose I can explain my boys.
My brother is 18 months younger & we have come to have many mutual friends (guy friends).
My friends are my family & these boys have become my family.
We have a group of 6 guys & 1 girl -me.

I have always secretly had a cougar crush on 2 of the guys in our group.
Never did I think twice about it. I was always dating and on top of that younger guys werent my thing.

Number 1. I met him while I was dating my recent ex.
We all partied, drank, played beer pong etc.
I stopped my mind from wondering @ he's cute.
He is the only friend whom I have ever kissed or been passionate with.
Amazing sex but at times he doesn't seem tuned in to my actual being & not just my body.
Great guy but a work in progress.

Number 2 I met about 6 months ago. Instantly I thought he was adorable.
He is so cute in fact that I was intimidated.
This last weekend I finally convinced him to try thiz with me & he did.
Let's just say I had an immediate attraction & I think he did too.
I know he's into me but he won't say anything because he is my brothers right hand man, best friend by far.
I have a much deeper emotional & physical connection with him..
Kinda waiting for it to pass but it keeps intensifying.

My brother doesn't know about my encounters & neither do any of the other boys. We keep it that way.

This weekend we are having a party @ my dads house while he's out of town. I can't wait to thiz again with my adorable friend & get more massages <3 mmm.

In my mind I deserve to have my cake & eat it too.

superbia.avaritia.luxuria.invidia.gula.ira.acedia.

Pride.Envy.Gluttony.Lust.Wrath.Greed.Sloth

 SEVEN DEADLY SINS

GUILTY

  

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18.4%          10.2%          26.7%           6.2%            10%            12.2%         16.3%
		Envy. Lust. Wrath. MY MORTAL SINS ENVY invidia I DESIRE WHAT OTHERS HAVE UNTIL I HAVE IT. IN DANTE'S PURGATORY THE PUNISHMENT FOR ENVY IS TO HAVE YOUR EYES SEWN SHUT WITH WIRE BECAUSE YOU HAD GAINED SINFUL PLEASURE FROM SEEING OTHERS BROUGHT LOW LUST  luxuria I CRAVE FOR THE PLEASURES OF THE HUMAN PHYSIC. SEX. PASSION. EROTICA. ITS A CARDINAL SIN IN ALMOST EVERY RELIGION... EVERYBODY DOES IT. WRATH ira I HAVE A LOVE FOR JUSTICE however ITS SO MUCH SWEETER COATED WITH REVENGE everyone has one.

no strings attached

Current Status: friends with benefits.

Its like fucking for free.

NSA.




Is it wrong to ever want an actual someone to be there with you through the strings & the bullshit of life?

Simply Put

I've done it all. I've loved, laughed, fucked & cried.


Most of my good times I can't remember & probably wouldn't choose to recall if given the choice.


I fuck up alot. I make alot of choices without thinking of the repercussions.


Love Life. Non existent.


Sex Life. Existent.


I have a problem with commitment.


I found love once....


about two years ago.


He found it again six months ago with a married woman.


That's life.


Sometimes, I don't think God believes in sugar.


I believe in faith.
I believe in fun.
I believe in change.
I believe in a higher power.
I believe in working hard.
I believe in lust.
I believe in imagination.
I believe in beer thirty & four twenty.
I believe in life.
I believe in experience.
I believe in explicit remembrances.

Let's Begin...

Dedicated to the secrets never told.
Dedicated to my life through my eyes.